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Ask L.I.M.E. : My Man Doesn’t Want Us To Use Condoms Anymore

Hi L.I.M.E.

I sorta need some advice. I enjoy reading your blog and hope that maybe you can help? I’ve been with my man for 4 months now (we’ve known one another for 2 years). Things started off slow and we didn’t have sex until a few weeks ago. Last night he brought up the idea of us not using condoms. He says they’re uncomfortable. I told him I’d think it over, but I am not too sure n the idea makes me uncomfortable. He says he’s clean and doesn’t have anything and I do believe him. I’m not on birth control and I reallllllllly can’t afford to get pregnant. I love my dude, and want to make him happy but I am not sure if the whole no condom thing is cool. What do you think I should do or say to him? Thanks for reading.

“Toya”

Hey Toya,

Thanks for writing and for supporting my blog. I’d be more than happy to try to help. First things first, never do anything you don’t feel comfortable with. Also, never allow anyone to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do, not saying he is but for future reference. Now you said he said he was clean and please don’t take offense to this. But some people will just say they are clean for the sake of saying so. The only way to know for certain that your mate is 100% clean, is to go get tested together, this way you both know your status. Someone’s word is not worth your life. I understand wanting to make your man happy, but you need to be happy & SAFE as well. Just as your man sat you down and vocalized his thoughts, you need to do the same thing as well. If using condoms makes you feel safe, then continue to do so. Don’t compromise your beliefs, thoughts, wants for someone else. In this day and age when STDs run rampant, you need to take the necessary measures to protect yourself. I’m not sure if you aren’t on bc for medical reasons, but I would recommend talking to your doctor about that option as well. I always tell my female friends to not rely on a guy for protection. There are dozens of routes for us women to take to protect ourselves. Your OBGYN will be more than happy to guide you in the right direction to finding what method of protection would be best for you. I hope I helped you in some way, please let me know what happens.

Xoxoxo
L.I.M.E.

If you have a question or letter you want featured on L.I.M.E., please send an e-mail to Info[at]LivelyIndepthMusicEnt.com. All letters will remain anonymous. Anyone who sends in a question will be given a fake name.

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Posted on May 15, 2011, in Ask L.I.M.E., ENTERTAINMENT NEWS, Love & Relationships. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. I’ve been with my man for eight months, we used condoms 99% of the time. He is very conscious about protection. Ever since we started talking about the future and babies, he doesn’t really want to use condoms. What should I think?

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